What happens when you get a bunch of veterinarians, an opthamologist, a realtor from South Africa and two Ohioans on the Snake River in Hells Canyon? Well, you have to come rafting with us to find out. But I’ll tell you one thing: it sounds exactly like the lead-in to a joke by Bill, the other guy along with us.

Up there's the Ohio folks, Chris and Heather. Both excellent swimmers and a positive joy to have on my boat. And that's Bill, down below this paragraph, rocking the pink hardhat, which is a tricky one to pull off. There was some waiting to get across Hells Canyon Dam while they were fetching sticks out of the reservoir . . . and this was priceless: we were sent an update from Idaho Power that the waiting period would be no longer than fifteen minutes. The folks there told us no, it would be an hour and when asked to explain the discrepancy, one of the Idaho Power workers pointed out that we were on Pacific Time, and they operate in the Mountain Time Zone. Ahhh.


So there’s this pit bull with an abscessed tooth, and . . . forget it. I never remember jokes.

Patrick pioneered a new campsite for us. It’s kind of exciting. We’ve got our favorite haunts down there in Hells Canyon, but I’ll be jiggered if young Baird didn’t just up and explore a new frontier. Kind of a little bit exciting, I’ll say. Nice work, Patrick.
I’m not going to say where it is, because that’s super double-secret proprietary information. Sorry, other outfitters. You’ve read this far for nothing. Go about your business.

Speaking of Patrick Baird, he got older yesterday. Worse places to spend your birthday than on the river. You’re going to like the gifts your old man got for you, Patrick. If not, give them to me.

We saw bears, we saw otters, a raccoon, bighorn sheep, deer, osprey . . . good wildlife trip. Also mariposa lilies. Gorgeous, those.

Heading out in the morning for the Grande Ronde River with a group of young adventurers from Adventure Treks. Looking forward to it.

See you on the river.

An archaeologist was doing his thing down in Hells Canyon some years ago. There was a river guide along chauffeurring him down the Snake River. The archaeologist pointed out to the river guide that shallow depressions nearby were gravesites.

This river guide – not affiliated with Winding Waters River Expeditions, by the by – laid down on top of one of the graves, said some unfortunate things and fancied himself a funny person.

“I wouldn’t do that if I was you,” said the archaeologist. They got back in the raft and flipped the boat in the next rapid.

That night pygmy owls appeared in camp. And the next night. The story goes that owls continued to visit this guide at home and on other rivers, and someone pointed out that owls are considered messengers from the spirit world in some native cultures.

I haven’t met this guide, but have talked with someone who was on that trip and they verified the grave incident, the flip and owls appearing.

Story goes that the guide eventually returned to the scene, apologized and burned sage in an attempt to call off the owls.

So I couldn’t help but be a little rattled when owls appeared in our camp last trip. You can tell yourself you’re not superstitious all you want, then tell the goosebumps to go away and see how that works.
Results are in from the training trip last week: Patrick Baird still rows a gearboat splendidly after a year at college. We had super-clean runs through Wild Sheep, Green Room Granite, Waterspout and Rush Creek – the four big Class IV’s of Hells Canyon.

In the kitchen, we did a field test on the new dinner recipe for this year. It’s a dutch oven production featuring local pork with green chile influence, topped by cornbread. And it’s mighty good.

We launch Thursday for another Hells Canyon tour. I’m looking forward to seeing the guy responsible for me being able to see -- Doctor Gareth Tabor, an eye doc and surgeon I met at a Fishtrap Writer’s Retreat who lasered my eyeballs this spring. I’m seeing 20/15 and not messing with contacts or glasses anymore. It’s a beautiful thing. Gareth’s coming out for some river time with a few buddies.

I plan to toast the invention of the laser once we’re situated around the campfire down there in the canyon.

Get ready for tanlines and the smell of sunblock. Bonafide summer weather finally rounded the corner and none too soon. I’ve retired the rainpants from my river kit and may they sit there until fall.

The Winding Waters crew is Snake River bound in the morning for a pleasure jaunt and training trip down Hells Canyon with nearly all of our guides, some of whom are fresh from final exams.

We’ll be field testing a few new recipes. Sure, we could cook them up in the dutch oven back home on the deck behind Winding Waters headquarters, but it wouldn’t be quite the same.

Here’s an update on a special trip we’re running this year – pay special attention if you know how to either read or write.

Fishtrap is a band of merry literates out here in the northeasterly chunk of Oregon. They collect like minds each summer and winter, all concentrating on good reading and writing.

And as of last year, they started taking this approach to the boonies. Writing on the river Fishtrap-style combines all the qualities you look for in a river trip, plus a writer’s conference.

This year the instructor is Annick Smith. Seen the movie A River Runs Through It? I thought you had. Annick had a hand in that. She’s had her hand on many projects, written, filmed, edited and otherwise.

I direct you to this here portal. It will tell you all about it.

I’ll tell you this: I had Annick for an instructor some years ago at a summer Fishtrap workshop and she’s good. Real good.

And what’s more, I’ve tried at least one of these new recipes we’re cooking up for the river season on the lower Salmon, Hells Canyon and Grande Ronde . . . and it’s good. Real good.

So we’ll see you out here for whitewater and then some. And you writers out there, hope to see you during the Fishtrap trip.

Good day.

Lots of water on the move out here in the northeast of Oregon. Things warmed up, it rained like the dickens which made the snow melt like the Tolstoy which caused the rivers to jump up like the Kerouac.

Starting to settle already, but it was a dandy of a flush. Creeks up to their brim and the Grande Ronde went from 5,000 cubic feet per second to over 20,000 in a day. But she’s coming back down and we’ll be settling into easy times and summer rafting.

Our last expedition was celebrating the graduation of the Enterprise High School seniors with a three-day float from Hells Canyon Dam to Pittsburgh Landing.

Tom Farnam and I were rowing the gearboats and went on ahead to camp. Wild Sheep Rapid was just beginning to change moods when we stopped to scout. At flows in the upper 20,000 cfs range, the run in Wild Sheep begins to migrate from our usual left-side slot and the Idaho side becomes more attractive.

Still spicy, though, and when the boats got to camp they had to wring a few things out to get them dry. Like the potato chips from the lunch box.

Granite Rapid was a joy. Green Room wide open, offering a straight shot thoroughfare right down the middle and right over the lip.

Mike Baird reported excellent fishing, hauling in lots of smallmouth bass and some trout from the boat. The sturgeon rig provided at Salt Creek and a catfish even got on.

The kids loaded up in a jetboat at Pittsburgh for a cruise back to the dam and I wish them all well. Great bunch.